This isn’t something I wanted to bring to my blog so soon after starting out, but I watched Onna’s latest YouTube video (check her out if you haven’t already. She’s lovely) and have been inspired to share my story in the hope I can help at least 1 person. Mental health has been such a massive part of my life over the past few years that I couldn’t possibly talk about everything in one post, so it can be a little series over the next few months. I have loads of great information to share in assisting you to overcome this (which believe me you can). ill still continue with beauty related posts as usual.
Where it all started..
Looking back I think I’ve always been a little anxious; At a young age I used to get really worried if my mom wasn’t back when she said she’d be and would think that something awful had happened to her and can remember crying at night, not wanting to go to sleep in case I didn’t wake up, but it was never a massive issue. Then in late 2006, at 14, I was attacked by a group of girls which changed my life. I believe this was the trigger to my future mental health issues. I would refuse to go in busy towns and hated buses, but it didn’t really control my life. That was until winter 2010. I was going to sleep one night and I remember thinking, I feel a bit ‘funny’, my breath felt shallow and I was very aware of my heart beat. I got really freaked out, my heart was pounding in my chest, I couldn’t breath and honestly thought I was dying. My boyfriend was in horror and didn’t know what to do with me so I went and woke my mom and said I needed an ambulance. She managed to calm me down, and I managed to get off to sleep fine and carry on with life as normal, until it happened again, then again. I would say “I just feel funny” I really didn’t have a cue what was happening to me. That was until I broke down to my sister and she thought I was having panic attacks, something she had suffered with in her early twenties (my sisters are both in there late 30s, I’m the baby) over the coming months I started to associate certain situations with panic and would avoid them, gradually this started to become a lot of situations. But I was adamant I was fine it would go away. Until April 2012 when I had my first panic attack at work. This was breaking point for me, I honestly thought I was dying or going crazy. I was sent home from work and my sister drove over and took me straight to the doctor. After checking me over she diagnosed me with panic disorder, I was signed of work for 4 weeks and put on anti-depressants. My initial thought was WHAT? HOW? I just couldn’t believe something like this was happening to me, I was young, what did I really have to worry about?
To be continued…
do you suffer or know someone who suffers from a mental health disorder?
Let me know in the comments.
if your struggling and would like to talk to somebody, please email me firstname.lastname@example.org. i will not judge you and am here to help 🙂
lots of love xx
Part 2 here