The diary of a CEO Live changed my life

I'm one of those people that has a new hobby every week and finds it hard to stick at things long term. My friends and family know I'm a very 'away with the fairies' type person who has huge ideas and great intentions but often overload myself with an overwhelming amount of things I want to do and in turn, to my dismay, never actually end up doing any of it. 

But that's all changed...

Not me and who I am fundamentally. Nor the ideas that I have and intentions to do great things, but my understanding of myself and appreciation for the life that I have achieved for myself thus far. Basically, I have this new outlook and perspective that it's ok to be a little different, with your head in the cloud and a desire to accomplish great things, but that sometimes I really just need to appreciate where I'm at. 

That's all thanks to one man. Steven Bartlett. 

A few weeks ago I went to The Diary of a CEO Live with my friend Holly. Having been somewhat of a creator on the internet for over 10 years, seeing someone like Steven who has created such a successful life for himself is awe inspiring and with Holly being the first internet friend I ever made and someone who is a now a best friend and an integral part of my life, It felt like a really full circle moment for us before we even got there - especially after over 18 months apart due to the pandemic. 

The show completely blew us both away, we laughed, cried, danced and heard the incredible story of his life and where so many of us fall short in our own. I'm going to share with you today the things I took away from the show and how its impacted me in a way nothing has before, hopefully it might resonate with you too. 

Gratitude

Like I mentioned, I'm someone who has a new idea every week. Since being a child I've always had a 'more' mentality. Wanting the better job, body, house. But never do I take the time to step back and look at the life I've created for myself. I'd also hazard a guess that you don't either. 

Despite the many difficulties I've faced, I'm living in Central London, able to work flexibly, graduated with a first class honours degree and have so many incredible friends around me. I have so much to be grateful for. 17 year old me would be literally wetting her pants at my life now and 21 year old me who had such debilitating anxiety she didn't know how to get through the day would just be so so proud. 

I came away from the show feeling an overwhelming amount of gratitude for where I am in my life. I may not have it all, but I'm actually happy with where I am and what I've accomplished so far. The battles I've faced, how I've grown and come through stronger without losing myself or my desire to be kind to others is something to celebrate. 

I think sometimes we have to give ourselves a break and look at the bigger picture. From now on, when I'm overloading myself with things to do and saying no to opportunities because I should be working, or not drinking I'm going to take a step back and remember that memories with the people you love are the most important part of our lives and to not pass them up. 

It also put into perspective my weight, I spend so much time feeling miserable about how I look, but it's just waste time and energy. Everyone I know loves me for who I am not how I look, so although I'm striving toward losing weight and feeling better, I really want to stop allowing it to dictate my life. 

Focus on internal validation before wanting external validation

I'm a sensitive soul and all my life I have sought external validation to make me happy. Whether It's in the work I do, the way I look or the things I write. It's definitely gotten better as I've aged but the show really got me thinking about why I do that. 

I honestly think for me, this thought process stems back to childhood. If your from instability, it can be hard to trust others and as I've gotten older I've often found it difficult to trust myself. As we go through lots of ups and downs through life, that can often be re-enforced. When the relationship you thought would work doesn't, or the job you thought was your dream isn't all that, we often turn in on ourselves and play the blame game. It's so easy to beat yourself up, but never to build yourself up. For that we always rely on others. 

I've decided to take a pledge to be kinder to myself and you should too. take steps towards learning to trust yourself and the decisions you make. 

Trust your inner voice 

We all have it, that little intuition that almost feels the vibe of situations and makes your mind up seemingly before you even have. This one is less related to my health and fitness journey, but one that had a profound effect on me. From job opportunities to relationships I've often had gut feelings or some kind of intuition. When I've trusted it, things feel like they've all fallen into place. However ignoring it has often ending up in me getting hurt or not liking the outcome. 

So from now on I'm going to be making a much more conscious effort to tune into and listen to my intuition because it really hasn't failed me yet. 

The only person who you can change is you

We all know this, but I don't think we actually hear those words properly and live our life in alignment with them. When you're on a health and fitness journey, It's so easy play the blame game. I don't have enough time because my boss asks so much of me, I can't go out for a walk because I have too much to do, my friends are all going out for dinner which will make me eat way over my calories. The reality is, life is full of challenging situations that you will have to make decisions that align with your goals. Whether that's in work, personal, health or financial. I've found it hard to accept this for years, but the reality is the only person responsible for me and the decisions I make is me. Yes there are diversions and hiccups that make that more difficult, but everything you need to take positive steps, no matter how big or small, is and always has been within you. 

I'm trying to not only be more compassionate with myself when I engage in things that don't take me in the direction of my goals, but also to hold myself accountable and stop blaming everything else around me. 

Communication is key

The final thing I wanted to share was around communication. It was a huge focus throughout the entire show and Steven really made a point to reiterate it from every area of life. Being able to effectively communicate leads to better prospects at work, better friendships and romantic relationships. It also just so happens that it's my downfall. I have a real issue with telling people when I'm not happy about something. It often shocks people because I'm a very heart on sleeve, open person and I have no issue at all telling people my life story or how I feel emotionally. But if someone said something to hurt me, or does something that annoys me I physically cannot get the words out. It's held me back a lot in my life and caused me so many internal issues, so its definitely on my priority list to work on. 

"Most of you have already achieved the dreams that a former version of you told yourself you were aiming for - you're doing it. THIS WAS THE PLAN"

I really can't even find the words to explain just how incredible the show really was. I wish it could be on a dvd that I could rewatch every morning, but the lessons learnt that I will be taking forward are invaluable and I really hope you can take something away from what I've shared too. 

did any of you get to attend the show? I'd love to hear your take on it if you did. 

The new Sophie Kathleen

After years away, I’m back where it all started.

Hello to everyone who’s been heres since 2013 when Sophie Kathleen, first came to fruition and to all of you who will be coming over from Sophie K Slim.

Many of you won't know that I've actually had a bit of a footprint online for many years, over 10 actually. Which is absolutely insane to me!

I did toy with the idea of completley removing my site, but then it occured to me that its likely most of my audience are the same type of people as me and therefor possibly enjoy consuming content in all forms, writing being one of them. Writing for me was where my relationship with the internet first blossomed. I love words, how they can make you feel and how they can help you take information in - in a different way to other forms of communication.

So here I am back again.

A lots changed since I last used this platform, life really has had its ups and downs but I'm still here, now a 1st class honours graduate and thriving. Over the past two years I’ve built an amazing community on TikTok of women who are so empowering and supportive and finally feel like I've found my niche in the online world. Helping people to see that you don't have to completely overhaul your life and be miserable to accomplish your goals. 

So welcome to the all new Sophie Kathleen. I wanted to keep this domain and rather than a complete rebrand of Sophiekslim, just funnel content between both. My hope for this site, is to provide words of wisdom, recipes and resources that have helped me on my journey so far. As well as a space for me to document my journey and hopefully inspire you to believe in yourself that you really can lose weight your way. 

However, before that content resumes my last post on here was a diary entry in the middle of 2020 and so much has changed since then. I really wanted to do another to have a recap of everything that's happened personally and collectively, because its so nice to have those little pockets of memories to look back on. 

Dear diary, 

Since my last post A LOT has happened. Following on from where I left off in may 2020, we proceeded to be in lockdown until June 2020, with the phased reaping of schools starting on the 1st, followed by non-essential shops. In august we had an 'Eat out to help out' scheme, which gave 50% discount on food. I managed to go visit my friend holly in Edinburgh and also went on a little trip to Exmouth with my sister, her husband and kids, which was so nice. During this time, I also spent a huge amount of time working on myself, I started doing daily zoom workouts and hired a nutritionist to help me with my eating and lost 2 stone and started my TikTok account.

I started feeling way more confident in myself and decided to get back on dating apps as the world started opening up again. That was when I start talking to 'him' (we can call him A) and went on a first date on the 1st of September. Which proceeded to be a whirlwind romance, and I fell hard and fast in love. By November we were approaching the second wave and had to go into a second lockdown. I spent most of the time studying, spending time with A and had lost a lot of my motivation for working out. As quickly as things spiralled in love, they very quickly unravelled and finally fell apart in January 2021. looking back I saw and ignored all the red flags in the beginning and was so excited at the prospect of a relationship that I allowed myself to drop my expectations to meet someone who was completely undeserving. It really sucks when someone presents themselves in one way and then turns out to be everything but. It was a lot of damage and hell of a lot of pain. But we live and learn as they say.

Heartbroken, devastated and lost I turned to my TikTok and decided to embark on a 54 day challenge to get back to myself after putting on a lot of comfort weight during the relationship. The people on their (many of you reading this) were absolutely incredible and I cannot thank you enough. You really eased a lot of my pain with your constant support and encouragement. I lost 21lbs, and by my 29th birthday was the happiest and healthiest I'd felt since I can remember. My followers had grown to over 30,000, my degree was almost done and I was in amazing shape!

However, as the dissertation deadline loomed and the world started opening up yet again, the health game started to slack and I couldn't think of anything but psychology and partying. I REALLY enjoyed summer 2021, there were festivals and parties and we were finally able to be in groups bigger than 6. Hugging each other and being in crowded rooms. Having that taken away for so long really instilled a level of appreciation for in person, real life contact that I don't think anything else ever can. And I enjoyed every single minute of it. 

I got the first class degree and am so beyond proud of myself. It was all I ever wanted and I think I thought it would complete me more than it actually did. In June 2021 I was hit with the most traumatic panic attack I've had to date on the middle of a motorway and that began the onslaught of 6 months of debilitating depression and anxiety. I won't go into to much detail, but it was dark and to be honest, I don't really remember much of the last 6 months of the year. But I made it through and I'm making positive steps to getting back to myself, my goals, visions and desires. one small step at a time. I'm proud of myself for everything I've gone through, often in my own head. 

In December I was finally able to make it Brazil after the trip being postponed and had the most incredible holiday, which leads us pretty much to now. Im 45 days into a 75 day challenge and will be turning the big 30 in 3 weeks. Many of us are now vaccinated against the virus and restrictions in the UK have been completely lifted. Sadly to date 183,579 people have died of covid in the UK and 5.9 Million people world wide. It's absolutely tragic and just as the world was coming back to some form of normality, Putin decided to invade Ukraine and people are now fighting for their lives and freedom over there. It's a really dark world right now. So all most of us can do is try to keep ourselves as happy and healthy as possible. 

Wow, That really isn't the half of it, but I really wanted to do a little brain dump just to have it here as a reminder in the future, If you made it this far.. well done haha!

I can't wait to share so much more with you along this journey. 

Soph 

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